What causes the random moments that create the strongest rush of emotion in me? I tell you, I have tried to figure it out over and over. My son, Sam, sang songs and served me tea and cookies for Mother's Day at school a few years back. While the other moms were sobbing, I was smiling. You couldn't have pinched me hard enough to get a tear to squeeze out. From there on out the other moms would tease me about my "heart of steel." And yet, I've cried during my fair share of Hallmark commercials. Why? My own flesh and blood is reading me a letter about all the reasons why he loves me and yet some random guy on T.V. who has his hands wrapped around his wife's eyes so that she will be surprised by the car he just bought her for Christmas is the one who has me running for a tissue? Senseless, I tell you...A sure way to get me (and NO, it's NOT "catch her the week before her period"), is music. I am a big-time country music fan, but really, whatever the genre happens to be, a good song is a good song. Every time I hear "In My Daughter's Eyes" by Martina McBride I want to run out and get pregnant so that maybe this time I'll have a girl. I just watched a movie tonight that I literally cried throughout because of how heartfelt the music was, and how well it told the unfolding love story. Can't get me to cry when I give birth, but I am still sappy about my boy's baby songs that I used to sing to them while I rocked them to sleep.
For me, songs trigger memories of moments and the feelings associated with those moments. Even though I don't miss him a bit, I still think of one of my ex-boyfriends every time Toby Keith sings, "He Ain't Worth Missing." I remember dancing to "Da Butt" in a parking lot with my sister and a friend at a high school church activity. And the song about Daisy Dukes reminds me of going out dancing with my girlfriends in college. "Strawberry Wine" makes me think of my first love and "Fruit Salad," by The Wiggles, means play dates at Amy's house with Jen. Every time I hear "Next to You, Sittin' Next to Me" I call my sister Carrie and blast it as loud as I can when she or her answering machine picks up. (Not sure why that is "our song," but it is...)
My neighbor Dana and I found a box of old tapes this past Christmas in a desk my mom gave me. We had a great night dancing and doing the Running Man in my kitchen while our kids looked at us like we were crazy. They finally gave up and joined in. Eighties music is just too catchy I guess :)
Sometimes I imagine that my life is set to the music of the songs that affect me most deeply. I picture myself as a free spirit. Someone who loves independence and wants to be accepted the way that I am. That's only a part of me though. I am a mother, I love my family, I am a good friend, I am reliable and think of others before myself. I am great at finding "the perfect gift." Music is integrated into every part of who I am. There is a song for my every mood, every feeling, every thought. I've already passed my love along to my boys. Sam is rarely seen without a Walkman, which he keeps in his backpack and carries around all day. Austin though, is my true music lover. Countless times I have walked past my little loner's room and have heard him in there, content as can be, singing one of a million songs he has memorized. No matter where he goes or what he is doing, he is singing. I adore that.
Music is a good form of communication too. Who hasn't given or received a "mixed tape" in their day? And even if not every word in a song applies to you, there is the relatability factor. I tend to connect emotionally with songs that relate to how I am feeling at certain time periods. Right now, you won't catch me listening to too much Black Eyed Peas or Madonna. I'm not in that place in my life. Heartfelt songs where the actual melody is not as important as the words is what you will find on my iPod. My music is a window to my soul.
No comments:
Post a Comment