Communication or lack thereof

I come from a family of non-communicators. If you asked them, they would say that I am crazy. But it's true, they are non-communicators. I'm not asking for the full rundown of everything that pertains to a certain situation or, a 2 hour telephone conversation detailing every aspect of an event...I'm really only interested in very basic information.

For example, tonight I have invited my family to come over for wine tasting on my newly completed front porch. Everyone is bringing a bottle of wine and an appetizer. I invited them a few weeks ago, via e-mail, and asked them to e-mail me back letting me know what kind of wine they are bringing and what appetizer. Anyone who hosts regularly knows that this information is necessary...I don't want 5 bottles of chardonnay and a bunch of sliced bread. I need to balance the menu. I need to shop, I need to prepare. I also invited them to stay the night, so they don't have to worry about drinking too much, and asked them to let me know when they might be here, but I was aiming to start around 4 pm.

Here it is, 2pm on the day of the event. I know my sister, Carrie, is bringing an artichoke dip (and may show up any minute...I'm not ready for her, but whatever). My mom is bringing dessert. I have no idea what kind of wine either one is bringing. I don't know if my mom is working today so I have no idea when she and my dad will be here. My other sister, Amy, lives in Sonoma and has only replied that she "might" come.

Last night when I spoke to Carrie I said, "Well I invited everyone to stay the night, but I haven't heard back, so I am assuming no one is."
To this, she said, "Well we are."
"Who? You and Naj?" I asked.
"Mom and Dad are going to sleep in your spare bedroom, Naj and I are sleeping in Austin's room, Amy will be in Sam's bed, and I guess the kids (her daughter and my boys) can sleep in sleeping bags."
Huh?!? Is it just ME they don't communicate with? Do they not know that this means I will be changing sheets, straightening up bathrooms, and trying to scramble a decent breakfast together for tomorrow morning? It's not that I mind having them here, but advance notice used to be a common courtesy.

Basic communication...that's all I ask....